Today we're working on a project for Caasah... we're taking pictures of the kids, and their hand prints, and putting them all on several posters so that when you walk in to the building, you can see that these are the kids who live there. Hopefully it will work out as beautifully as we imagine it... but you know, we can only do our best. We're also updating this book that another group of volunteers started about Caasah a few years ago. The book has some fantastic, and still relavant (although I'm not sure why since most of the stuff is very easy to change) stuff about Caasah's problems.

That is one of the most frustrating things about Brasil, and Brasilians. They just live. Its beautiful because they don't worry so much about life and schedules and accoplishing things; they see beauty and life in the every day activities that we all take for granted so much in America. But it is sooo frustrating when you want to change something! The way life is for these kids at Caasah - who they will grow up to become - what they remember as their childhood and what they are capable of because of that... none of it has to be like it is. Quite frankly, its almost like most of the kids are an experiment in socializing and drugs... the staff has no idea what is going to happen to the oldest child when she turns 18 and is legally an adult. For a facility that deals soley with patients that have HIV or AIDS (and are obviously more immune deficent than normal people. hygene is important!!!), the hygene is absolutely unacceptable. They don't have toilet paper or flushing toliets... Soap is hidden from the kids in shelves they can't reach. Kids aren't potty trained until they are past 3. Their beds are falling apart, and most of the kids have lice. But it seems like they don't even really want to do anything about it. Its like they are sending a message to these kids - "yep, go ahead and get prepared for poverty... we don't expect you to succeed because we have nothing invested in your future." As a volunteer and someone who as grown to love these kids to the point of contemplating adoption every day (I know its not realistic... but stil. if anyone wants to adopt a kid, I know a lot of really great ones), it makes me so sad to see that we are the only ones who think about what their lives can and will become.

Since the time for most of the current group to leave is coming up very soon, we've all been asking each other what the best and worst things about our experiences here. The best and worst experiences I had here were with the kids. Caasah has been such a challenge, but its also given me some of the best memories and some of the best hugs! I can't possibly explain how much I love these kids, and how much of an impact they've made on me. They have changed my outlook on the world, and my life in general. I'm grateful to have been a part of their lives, even if it was just for a few months.